See how many teeth you'll have when you're 60 by taking this simple quiz...

Let me start by saying that I am guilty of a lot of Farmville notifications, though I do try and keep them to a minimum. I mean, no one could surely be interested if you just plowed a field and planted some peas. If my 'neighbours' are interested they will go to my farm and do the croppage thing. Sometimes when i'm drunk I post music videos from Youtube and I might partake in the very rare 'do this to see when your right ear will fall off' things...

There is a block facility, but for every one you block you get bombarded with 3 more totally inane 'I have this sweaty old sock I found down the back of the sofa to share with you' notifications and quizzes that are for fun but annoying as fuck. Here are some for us all to enjoy....




now before anyone starts, yes it's nice that someone has thought of me and sent me a 'friendly flower' but it isn't real and I doubt that in real life they would be so generous. If I want flowers i'll go and get some from the local cemetary, they always seem to have a nice selection and free of charge.




one behind the other there. One from 'friendly smiles' and the other from 'friendly hugs'. I don't do shit like that. I like to scowl at people, shout abuse at them and chase them down the road trying to get them to understand that the voices in my head make me want to harm them. I call that a 'friendly episode'




now this one and the other similar varieties are doing my fucking head in today. IT IS NOT MOTHERS DAY IN THE UK TODAY. But this wont stop numerous Facebook friends sending happy mothers day crap to one and other. Also in my book it is spelt MUM not mom.





'Which decade fits your personality best?'. Erm....has there been a decade when being an insane nut job was all the rage? Thought not unless you count Hitler's reign of terror and I don't really want to be put in the same bracket as him, or classed as a Timmy Mallet 80's personality because he was ker-razy. No he wasn't, he was a t-wat. I'm not really a nut job, a bit mad yes but not totally cuckoo. Yet.

So by now you probably have some idea what I am on about if you don't already receive these inane annoyances yourself. Who makes these things? Why has no one made one called 'send your mate a lump of virtual dog shit' or one that tells your friend that 'you give their partner 8 out of ten in the sack'?

One of these quizzes once told me that I was haunted by the spirit of a little boy who stands at the end of my bed. Ooooh scary! The only thing at the foot of my bed at night is my dog snoring his head off.