Sunday, 27 June 2010

England team is a terrosist

I could post hundreds of status updates fromn Facebook today but they all state the basic same message that is England are shit.

so have these two photos as a sign of disgust at 11 overpaid twats who played like a bunch of girls and pretty much rolled over and died...

OK scrap that, cant upload images. bastard internet. so picture for yourself a dog mauling an england flag and a pic of my flag in my bin in the kitchen.

i didnt see the match as i was commited to a 'teddy bears picnic' in the park with my kids nursery. neednt have bothered as i didnt know anyone as they were the poshos whos kids obviously dont attend the 2 days mine dont.

attempted to listen to the match on me iphone on an app called 'radiobox' but it kepy cutting off and buffering so i has a 4 min delay.

kind of glad i missed such a poor display if what the commentator and chris waddle in the background souting, ranting and hammering the desk in frustration was anything to go by.

england you have been consistently shit this world cup and deserved to lose. a bunch of overpaid prima-donnas. let a pub side with loads of [assion play, bet they'd do better.

an utter disgrace. and whgere the fuck was crouch given his score record for england? whats the fucking deal with hesky the useless cunt?

so have this as a sign off from this non facebook rant...

BBC News: As part of the new Emergency Budget the Tories have decided to crack down on benefits abusers. The main target will be persons fraudulantly claiming wages, for work they don't do. The England football team have apparently fled the country and were unable to make a comment.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Carling is a terrorist

So, as a 'well done' for all our hard work over the past year I went out Friday night to the 'celebration night' [which we had to pay for], it was also my colleague's last day at work so a farewell drink for her. miss you kelly!

can't tell you a lot about the evening because it's mostly a drunken haze. I remember being a lazy arse and getting a colleague to go to the bar for me, built a few bridges, smoked far too many of the boss's fags, danced in my chair and held the cab driver up for about 10 mins as i couldn't find my keys. [they were on my lap already].

My other half was obviouslly impressed with me when I got home...

indeed in had to go straight to bed. pissed wasn't the word. I was only drinking Carling as well [which is complete gnats piss] but @ £2 a pint and being like water I drank it in ambundance.

Took my contact lenses out and chucked them on the table instead of in their pot. Went to bed and passed out. Next morning, nursing a head that felt like it contained a thousand men in clogs running down a cobbled street, I discover I had attempted a facebook status....

I still have absolutely no idea what the fuck I was trying to say. Any guesses?

Still, it was a good night and I was aparently on top form...

Carling is a Terrorist....

Thursday, 3 June 2010

Facebook spying on me?

No sooner do I post previous and all my notification problems seem to be solved.


Makes me look like a twat.

facebook is a terrorist

A rant if I may...

Thank you Facebook for informing me via notifications that people have replied to my posts or to posts I have either replied to or liked. Please, however, fuck off. A while back one could view what notifications they wanted to and ignore others and be left in peace. Now you wont allow this, I must click on and view every sodding notification and even then you don't cease to tell me I have 3 notifications [or however many]. Also, if I view a notification i can't read the fuckin status because the notification list stays open and then when I have finished obeying you commands they still don't fuck off unless I close my browser and reopen it.


And Farmville can fuck off withering my crops before they were out of date. And being slow and generally cocked up.

I have come to think you are a terrorist alongside my washing machine and fridge. Not to mention my Dyson [my yellow, not my purple] that started smoking like a 60 a day smoker, coughed and spluttered like a pensioner with emphysema because it couldnt cope with a little mess in the kids room a while back. You are a vaccum claner FFS, it's what you are made to do.

Yes I had 2 Dyson's because I am greedy and saves lugging one up the stairs.

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