Friday, 4 January 2013

Totally forgot I had this blog. 2 years down the line. Where am I at? Still the sorry mess I was 2 years ago. However this is all about to change. Let me talk to you about alcohol... Alcohol how I've loved you. Made me behave outrageous, say things I regret, say things that make no sense, made me wet myself laughing, made me pass out. Made me piss off cab drivers, made me make an absolute tit of myself, made me happy & sad. Basically made me do lots of things of which some I am not proud. But it's been a friend. A crutch. Something I could depend on. Seen me through good and bad times. Caused great happiness & deep sorrow & grief. But it's stuck with me through thick & thin. Controlling me. And the control has been immense. But things have to change. And a's of next Tuesday they will. I start detox. A home detox to ween me off alcohol for good. The time has come. I need to look after myself & think of the kids. I need to rid myself of the illness this has become. I need to rediscover the old me. I'll probably be the same grumpy old cunt a's I've always been but this needs to be done & done it will be. Don't get me wrong, I've had some great times on alcohol. Rolling round in Rose bushes, vomiting on the doorstep of a building in Kingston, making a cab driver pull over so I could vomit in a bush. Leaving a black sack full of left over food in a cabbies car & getting him to drop it outside my aunties house. You name it I probably did it. Never been in trouble with the law. Suffered some mammoth hangovers. Taken a while to find the correct road let alone house to go home to. Sounds fun? Hell yes but now is the time to grow the fuck up & take responsibility of what I need to and bid farewell to my old friend. So farewell alcohol. You served me well whilst being irresponsible. Now I must grow up at 38 years of age & deal with shit without your numbing assistance. Onwards & upwards. :)

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